the sands of time

As I sit at my laptop, listening to the ticking of the clock, I try to find the right words. The right words to correctly illustrate what is on my mind. However, I draw a blank. I, instead, continue to daydream about what is there. The sound of a text message interrupts my thoughts along with an obnoxious yell outside of my room. After a brief reply I am back into my thoughts. So many things are passing me by. I cannot decide which to focus on, so I try to focus on all of them. I don't fail, but am overwhelmed. There are the things I want to forget, the things I pine for, and the things that I can only hope will happen. The mixture thickens and my phone goes off again, disturbing what was about to happen. Now I may never know... The phone put aside again, and I try once more for a breakthrough in my thoughts. The overwhelming feeling has no chance to return, the phone quickly alerts me that another text has arrived. This time I do not respond. I close my eyes and listen to what is going on. For some reason all I can focus on is the future...what will become and how will things happen....How am I supposed to focus on the now if all I can think about is what is to be? Why am I so set on this? I do not mean the future as in next week, or even next semester. I, for some reason, am focusing on years from now. My dream career, my dream family, my dream future life and my dream future me. The importance of all this is relies on what is happening today. So, what do I do? I write, I draw, I post and I continue to dream. It may only be a daydream that I have more and more, but it is still a dream worth watching over and over.

Well, I am back to the school life. To justify what was written above: I am in a strange mood. When I get into this mood I find myself writing and drawing more. I do think a lot about my future. My future as in: where will I live, how will I get proposed to, what it would be like to become a working actress, etc. It comes, this mood, every so often. And I find different ways to express myself. Today, it was in some weird narrative. Also, I always just say what happens in my life directly and to the point. I decided to try and spice things up...Lets see how it goes, shall we?

I woke up this morning to the annoying sound of my alarm. A sound that was surprisingly loud. After about four seconds I realized I was using my phone as a pillow, thus the unusual volume penetrating my ear. After another five minutes of not moving, I forced myself out of bed. The first day back to school after a six day weekend. Luckily I packed my backpack the night before, because I was slow getting ready and needed to ride like the wind to get to class on time, which I did. After class (English: the class I cannot stand to be in and I only have two more sessions in after today! YES!), I went and got some breakfast. I placed two biscuits in a bowl and drowned them in gravy, filled a glass with apple juice, and stuffed my face. While eating I received word that Meryl Streep was on the cover of this months Entertainment Weekly. I do not get my issue until I go home in two weeks because that is where my subscription is mailed, so I hurried over to the computing commons to read the fabulous article. This probably started my mood, the one I am currently immersed in. Before I know it I find myself sitting in my biology lecture, listening to the Beatles on my Zune and writing down a shopping list for this weekend. The professor enters and begins the lecture, "Did Nostradamus really predict 9/11?" How that related to biology I do not know. While pondering the meaning of what the professor was up to, I opened my phone to find a new addition to the Marchand family. Pat and Holly's new baby girl. This was exciting because the last time I saw Holly, she was only four months along. Now, there is a new person in this world, and how adorable she is!
Placing my key into my door, I remember that when I returned home yesterday I found our sink leaking and the carpet wet and moldy. I hesitated to enter my room. As soon as the door opened, a putrid stench tickled my nostrils. I put down my bag and immediately rushed out to go report the problem. I was told to call the maintenance department and leave them a message, for they do not answer calls, only messages. Now I must wait to hear back from them, not knowing how long that will take. To get my mind off of the smell, I choose to go through boxes under my bed to sift through what will stay and what will head off to Vegas with the family. A couple hours, and old discoveries, later I sit down at my desk and open my Internet browser. I check my email accounts and begin to surf the never ending web. All of the sudden, it hit me light a lightening bolt. A sinus migraine. I can barely keep open my eyes. I lay my head down on my pillow and moan in agony. Once the pain calmed, only a little bit mind you, I returned to my computer to catch up on last weeks CSI episode. Towards the end Amanda, who was home in Michigan for the holiday break, invites me over to her dorm. She had a terrible headache as well, so we popped some Tylenol and she showed me pictures from her trip home. We then practiced a few songs for our two-man show (which is tomorrow night at 8...ugh) and I headed on home. This blossomed my mood that is causing me to write in this fashion. Like a child I call mom to tell her what I want for Christmas. "Don't laugh," I start, "I want to take singing lessons." There is a pause and then a reply, "Ok, you want them with your banjo too," she jokes. "No, ma I'm serious. I don't want to try and be like Whitney Houston or anything. I just want to be able to sing and not sound terrible. I want to learn how to properly use my voice. To be able to carry a tune if I needed to." Another pause, "I am watching the Grinch, half asleep, can we talk about this tomorrow?" "Sure ma, go to sleep. Sweet dreams."

FIN

I will return tomorrow, and will hopefully have a better post. A more normal, less abstractly artsy one. Until then...

Bon Appetit!
Em