Well, here I go. Only a few more weeks (app. 14 days) before I move out of the house and into my dorm. And only 4 days after that I will officially start college. You know, when you're in jr. high and what not you can't wait to be through with school. Now, technically I am where I was thinking and I cannot fathom the idea that a whole new chapter in my life is about to begin. I mean, all of my best friends are moving away. Thomas is going to Yale in Connecticut, Lindsey will be down in Tucson, and Kristen is going to California. And I have known all of this for a while now. But, it hasn't hit me that what is happening is, in fact, happening. When will it? When I am at the airpot with Thomas, when I start classes, when I realize I don't have a life on the weekends anymore? I don't know. And, how hard is it going to hut me? That is what scares me the most. But, I know we will stay in touch. I was blessed with friends that I will never forget and that I will push myself to keep in contact with because they are that amazing.
Moving on to a semi-new subject.
As I complain about all my friends moving away, I have already been researching new colleges to transfer to next year. I really want to go out of state. With my major I would love to be in either New York of California (preferably NY). SO, I am already starting to focus on that. It is definitely an interesting experience, and it has yet to really begin. I am, however, excited to the greatest power. I, hopefully, will be a working actress; or entertainment journalist. I have been told that my talent, if I pursue and expand my knowledge on, will take me places. I can honestly say I don't know how to judge myself. For a few reasons. 1) I don't see myself act. 2) When I do act I lose myself in the performance so I don't know how the audience reacts or how it made me feel. 3) I am not modest but I am not an egomaniac, so where does that leave me? 4) I just do it because I enjoy it, not to see how good I can get or how many people like me. So, if I do become a working actress it will be because it is what gets me high, what puts me on top of the world, it is what I run on, it is my drug/my anti-drug, it is who I am and want to be. My talent will just assist me, and get me jobs, and then I can let the inner beast of passion erupt.
That leads me to another thing on my mind.
I am obsessed with thinking about the future. I want to live for today and all that jazz but my mind always thinks of what will be. I want to focus on getting there. Just dreaming about it will make it hurt worse when/if I don't get there. But I can't help myself. So, I write. Nothing worthwhile like novels or plays. I write down ideas and hope putting them down on paper with help me in someway.
side note/Tangent!!!!
I have consulted many people and have decided my life would make a great book/movie/play etc. SO, I have started notes on my autobiography which will only get published if I get published. If I end up as a local journalist...I will turn it into a novel and hope it does the same justice.
SO, if I happen to ever get it out there (hopefully as an autobiography) you should buy and read it...it will be entertaining to say the least. And if you know anything about me or my family you understand.
For my faithful readers who read this entire thing...I am sorry it was dreadfully long. But it's nice to talk to someone, anyone who will listen is worthwhile!
Until next time
Bon Appetit!
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2 comments:
Thomas?! Seriously, it's Tom. "Thomas" is not going to Yale, Tom is. T-O-M, Tom. How old am I? Not 65 and nearing retirement.
Ummm...............................not an egomaniac? "My life will make a great book/play/etc." Just calling it like I see it?
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